What I am disputing is that is invariably the outcome. In fact, he said, many of his subjects had been despondent and even suicidal themselves, for the opposite reason — "precisely because they had previously thought there was no hope for them, and they had been told by many mental health professionals that there was no hope for them, they had to just learn to live with their homosexual feelings. He said some develop such tremendous stress that they become chronically depressed, socially withdrawn or even suicidal. But Spitzer says his study shows that some homosexuals making some effort, usually for a few years, make the change.
Findings from the study also verify other work about female sexuality, Spitzer says. It is known that female sexuality is more fluid.
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Haldeman, however, noted that some 43 percent of those sampled were referred by religious groups that condemn homosexuality. Another 23 percent were referred by the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality, which says most of its members consider homosexuality a developmental disorder. But Spitzer says while the people in his sample were unusual — more religious than the general population — it doesn't mean their experiences can be dismissed.
And, he said, it doesn't mean they aren't telling the truth. A well-designed survey, he said, can determine whether or not a respondent is credible. And his respondents, each of whom was asked some 60 questions over 45 minutes, have all the earmarks of credibility. In fact, he said, to dismiss his survey would be to dismiss an awful lot of psychological and psychiatric research.
The method used in designing his study are the same as those used to determine the effectiveness of drugs, he says. He said he asked very detailed questions not only about sexual attraction, but about fantasies during masturbation and sex, and yearnings for romantic and emotional involvement with the same sex and a variety of other variables that indicate sexual orientation.
Rick McKinnon, who is openly gay and works as an editor at the weekly Seattle Gay News, is concerned the study results can be used to forward an anti-gay agenda.
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But Spitzer — who described himself as a "Jewish, atheist, secular humanist" with no axe to grind — says maybe there are gays who are happy being gay and ex-gays who are happy being straight, and that both sides deserve more respect. Ironically, Spitzer had until now been something of a hero in the gay community.
See the people outside of your social circle, the tourists from a far, and those people who wouldn't mix with in a million gay years. And where else are you going to see Dykes on Bikes anyway? This sense of being able to find other homosexuals in the given area isn't inborn like a sense of direction or ESP.
1. Have a diva
No, it must be acquired through years of hard work and figuring out just which clues are going to give guys away. Even then it's still not infallible whenever European tourists are around. But it's essential. Not only will it help you determine when you're in a safe space with others of your kind, it will also direct you to which clerk to flirt with for a discount and which flight attendant to wink at for a free tiny bottle of vodka. It's everything from Showgirls and Mommie Dearest to John Waters and your aunt Nancy who loves to show up at family events with lipstick on her teeth and do her Charo impersonation.
Playing it straight: should gay roles be reserved for gay actors? | Stage | The Guardian
Yes, before "hipsters" ironically co-opted things that were awful, gay men invented camp and it has pervaded our aesthetic. In some respects it's about loving an outsider and wanting to embrace it even while disparaging the things that make it amazing.
Much like the supreme court's definition of pornography, it's hard to define camp but we all know it when we see it. And if you don't know it, then you're just another sincere mark for all the camp connoisseurs out there. Aids nearly wiped out a generation of gay men. Many gay men coming of age now know this intellectually, but they have no clue about the emotional cost of losing all of their friends slowly but surely to a disease or being forced to live with the diagnosis as a death sentence.
While the quilt is now a shrine to everyone who has died of the disease, and not just gay men, it is the closest thing we have to a museum and the best way to document all the lives that have past. We owe it to them not to be forgotten.
In our age of Gay Straight Alliances in schools and celebrities who live in a perpetual glass closet without ever making a final announcement, coming out seems it's going out of style. We all have a coming out story, whether it was when your mom says she knew already, your father stopped talking to you, or your boss just didn't care and told you to go back to your desk.
2. Dress in drag
No matter what else you may or may not have in common with another gay person, you can always fall back on this. It's like talking about the weather, but far more interesting, and often with more tears. Here are my suggestions: Have a diva Everyone needs a Kylie, even if you think Time Bomb is kind of a crappy song. Dress in drag Even if it's just once for Halloween, go out in the world wearing the clothing of the opposite gender. Cruise Everyone used to know to glance over your shoulder after three steps if you were interested in that sexy stranger on the sidewalk.
Know about poppers If only so people will get your jokes about Rush and Jungle Juice, know what poppers are. Protest Get out there with a picket sign and some anger and fight for your rights. Go to Pride Standing out in the hot June sun can sure be a drag all puns intended but everyone should experience the depth and breadth of the community at this event at least once.
How to be gay in 10 easy steps
Develop a gaydar This sense of being able to find other homosexuals in the given area isn't inborn like a sense of direction or ESP. Appreciate camp It's everything from Showgirls and Mommie Dearest to John Waters and your aunt Nancy who loves to show up at family events with lipstick on her teeth and do her Charo impersonation.
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Visit the Aids quilt Aids nearly wiped out a generation of gay men. Come out In our age of Gay Straight Alliances in schools and celebrities who live in a perpetual glass closet without ever making a final announcement, coming out seems it's going out of style. Sexuality Kylie Minogue blogposts. Reuse this content.